The Way I Loved You
by missydegrassi
Summary: Clare is with jake but did eli's actions change her mind READ!
1. Chapter 1

The Way I Loved You

I thought I had it all the day I met Eli. When he told me I had pretty eyes then just drove off, the day he kissed me for the film project then ran off because he didn't want me to end up like Julia. The day I walked into his cluttered room. But the day he crashed Morty I wasn't so sure, and when he tried to frame Jake with the drugs, and all the pain suffering and medication. So now after his play and the powerful monolog why, do I Clare Edwards feel a little spark towards Eli after all this? Honestly I couldn't tell you.

I sat in his car silent as he had ever heard me but yet he said nothing either. I was deep in thought and not ready to face the many questions I knew he had.

"So do you think that happy ending crap was directed at you," Jake said in a sarcastically mad tone.

"Honestly I don't know," I said, but I was lying I knew it was about me, about the way Eli and I had ended things, about how he wanted me back. And for some reason I was sorry for saying that we would never get back together, because some awkward part of me started to maybe sort of love him for saying that whole monolog in front of the school.

"You sound sympathetic to the guy who put you through all that last semester; I don't think you thinking strait." He sounded mad maybe he saw through my little white lie.

"Can you just take me home I'm blown away that Eli said all that," I said madly at his mad remark.

The rest of the ride to my house was spent in silence. I didn't know what to say and neither did he I assumed. We stopped at my house then he got out and opened the door for me and helped me out of his big red pick-up truck. He walked me to my door and as I struggled with the key I heard him clear his through like he was waiting for something.

"May I help you," I said sarcastically looking up from the now unlocked door, because I knew what he wanted.

"I'm waiting for my good night kiss" Jake said and bent down so I could reach his lips.

I moved closer to him on my tippy toes and kissed him we stood there for about three minutes kissing. Maybe I didn't stop because I wanted to feel something, a spark like I did before tonight. But I didn't, all I felt was the lack of air going to my head.


	2. Chapter 2

The weekend was filled with confusion 30 missed calls from Jake, zip from Eli. I heard a rumor that he was going to get help because he wasn't taking his medication, but why would he call me anyway. We made it perfectly clear the night of the play that we weren't getting back together. But I wanted to apologize and knowing Eli I thought that he would have another plan to get me back. But I let him down hard the night he crashed Morty and again the night of the play. Where ever he was he was probably getting over me and excepting that I didn't want him anymore. But that was far from what I wanted. I had to think, about Jake and our relationship and about Eli and the lack of ours.

"Jake" I said in a shaky voice.

"Yes, Clare" Jake said in a worried tone. And I was worried too, worried that I was making the wrong choice for me, for us and for our parents sake.

"Right now I'm pretty confused about what I want and what wants me, so I think we should just be friends especially because our parents are dating and all." I said, and looked down on the truck floor, thinking about why I was breaking up with him right before school in his car.

"So wait," Jake said, "you don't want to be with me all of a sudden, just like that its over?"

"No I've been thinking about it all weekend and I just think we should see other people." I said as I gulped in fear of his words that would follow.

"Other people, as in Eli, Clare after all he put you through the pain and suffering?" Jake said unable to comprehend the break-up and the reasons why.

"I never said it was Eli, I'm just so confused right now and I need time to think." I said all flustered in response to his remark, and then stormed out of the car slamming the door behind me. So much for a break-up with no drama.

I was afraid to walk in to school. I don't know why it's not like everyone knew that I dumped Jake for Eli and it's not like everyone cared. And I didn't necessarily dump Jake for Eli, I mean I don't know if I even want him. I just knew that I didn't feel sparks for Jake anymore that's it.

"Hey Clare," Ally said in a happy tone witch distracted me from being deep in thought.

"Oh hey ally," I said in a gaze.

"What's up you seem frazzled," she said questioning my sanity.

"I just broke up with Jake," I said while I cleared my through.

"WHAT, Clare you were so happy with him you guys were so alike." Ally sounded upset like it was her relationship we were talking about.

"Well you know what they say opposites attract." I said maybe giving it away that I might have had or have feelings again for Eli.

"Opposites as in you and Eli, Clare I can't see you go through that again!" Ally couldn't be more right and wrong at the same time. He did put me through a lot but he was also the best time I've ever had.

I didn't see Eli all day, I mean he is a grade up but we had the same lunch period and I would have seen him in the halls. I wanted to talk all the confusion going on in my head, I needed someone who wouldn't judge me and Eli seemed like the guy I needed. More and more I began to fall for him all over again wishing for our lips to meet. If we did get back together I would make it clear that I didn't want to be over protected or suffocated I wanted my space when I needed it, and hopefully he would give it to me this time around. If there even was a this time around.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day after my long bike ride to school, I saw Eli stepping out of his dad's car. I wasn't going to talk to him right in front of his dad so I decided to catch him before class. What was I going to say, where was I going to start? I had so many things to say, to ask and to understand. But if it was meant to be he would understand and except my apogee. Hear I go. Why did it seem like every time I stepped into the school I had to deal with a problem, I guess that's why we go to school.

"Hey," I said while stepping towards Eli, who was talking to Fiona.

"Hey Clare," he said in a honest voice.

"Look I'm really sorry," we both said at the same time. Why was he sorry I was the one that broke his heart over and over again?

"Wait why are you sorry," I said with a confused face on. Fiona walked away, she could tell that we had things to figure out.

"For yelling at you, and trying to break up you and Jake." Eli sounded sorry and sincere about everything, and that's rare for Eli.

"Well thanks, Jake and I didn't work out anyway." I said then looked down at our feet, I didn't want to see his face, I was too nervous.

"Was it because of what I said to him," he said surprised, just like Ally was. Were we really alike or was it because we were only together for a fue weeks?

"No," I said, "It was because I never stopped loving you, and after seeing your play it convinced me that I still was." I was still looking down, but I didn't hear a reply so I decided I had to look up to see if he ran away, but all I saw was his crooked smile which seemed to be contagious because I couldn't help but smile. But then his turned to a frown and so did mine.

"What," I said a little snotty.

"It's just that," he said, "I'm bipolar, I was diagnosed yesterday that's why I was out."

I wasn't surprised not even a little bit, and it really didn't affect how I felt for him. He was always a little off, and that's what I liked about him. But I couldn't believe that he thought I was that low to stop liking him because of medical condition.

I smiled and said "You think that that wouldn't like you anymore because you have a medical condition, do I come off as that bad of a person?" Even though I knew he was bipolar it didn't matter, he was still the same old Eli.

"No it's just that I wanted you to know I don't like to keep secretes anymore." I guessed that he was referring to the whole Julia thing from the beginning of the year.

I felt like things hadn't changed from the beginning of the year we were together again, I assumed and everything was great. Other than the rest of the school plus my mom, who were going to judge us, especially me for getting back together with him. But I didn't care Eli and our relationship was all that mattered to me right now.

"We should talk things out, say The Dot after school." I said happily.

"Sounds great," he said and grabbed my hand. It was too good to be true, but it was true. And just like the old times. Eli and I were back and better than ever as they say and it felt like nothing or no one could stand in our way.


	4. Chapter 4

After dinner at the dot Eli and I walked home. We had sorted out everything about us, he told me that Imogen and him were just friends, and I told him that Jake and I were probably never going to speak again. Things were back to normal. But maybe a little awkward after all the screaming and yelling at each other, now had turned into holding hands and kissing. I liked where we were, no over protectiveness, or me pushing him away. But he had a good reason for all of that, but he was getting help so hopefully this time around it wouldn't be so ugly at the end. If there is an end.

"Ok Clare, I better go." Eli said, wakening me up from my daydream. I was surprised I didn't trip while walking.

"What, you can't walk me to the door, maybe say hi to my mom?" I said a little upset; I never wanted our time together to end.

"Well," he said while pointing to the red pick-up truck parked in front of my house. It was Jakes, maybe his dad borrowed it, but most likely they were both their eating dinner which they did a lot. I understood the weirdness Eli felt.

"Oh, ok I get it," I said quietly, then looked into his eyes and kissed him. There were the sparks I wanted to feel, I could have stood there forever kissing his perfect lips.

"Bye, Clare," Eli said finally pulling away from our embrace, And then brushed the hair out of my eyes, slightly touching my face.

"See you tomorrow," I said slightly breathless. Then he walked the other way to his house and I walked straight towards mine waiting to see the doom in front of me.

"Clare ware have you been, we ate without you?" My mother said in a strict serious tone. There at the table was Jake and his dad just as I assumed.

"I had a thing, don't worry I ate." I said while giving Jake an evil smile, as if I was teasing him by saying _'I was just making out with Eli.'_ He knew exactly who I was with and got why I was smiling at him.

"Was this 'thing' so important that you had to miss dinner?" My mom said angrily.

"You never told me that they were coming over, and I don't remember you having to know where I am 24/7. I deserve a little freedom from this hell hole!" I said even angrier than she was.

I didn't care that she was dating Jakes dad, it didn't matter to me, but if she thought their relationship was going to be the center of the universe, she had another thing coming. I wasn't going to deal with her crap, I just got Eli back and I wanted things to be perfect, to make it a perfect day. But she always ruins everything.

"Clare Diana Edwards!" she exclaimed, "I can't believe you!"

"What are you going to send me to my room, or do you want me to kiss there asses first?" I said

"We should go," Mr. Martian said and motioned to Jake to get up.

"Naw, I'm watching Clare flip out, this is gold." He said while laughing.

"You think this is funny," I said madly, "You know I tried to let you down easy so we could be friends, but your jealous ass had to jump to conclusions."

"What were my conclusions right, is your emo, crazy boyfriend going to your head now?" he said in anger.

"All right the two of you calm down." Jake's dad said, while stepping between us, then pulling Jakes arm and saying, "let's go." And they grabbed their things and left, followed by my mom giving me a look like _'look what you did'_.

I was done and was not going to deal with my mom's questions. Because I knew that they were coming. So I decided to storm up to my room. So much for mantling a friendship with Jake, because after that rude remark he made towards Eli I knew that I didn't want to bother with him. And he probably didn't want to talk to me either. But what I said was true, what Eli and I have I something for him to be jealous of.


End file.
